You know how some people really care about the environment? So they recycle, and they share Facebook articles about climate change denial, and make their own deodorant or something. I'm sort of like this. But not for the environment, or any other such worthy cause. I'm an advocate for cutting people out of your life.
To me, cutting people out of your life is as refreshing and frequent as spring cleaning. It's like digging through your closet, finding an ugly shirt that you never wore which probably still has the tags on it and was buried under your childhood snow pants, and thinking, "Does this spark joy?!" and then unceremoniously throwing it out. (I tried reading that famous self-help book about cleaning and sparking joy but nothing really stuck except for the phrase "spark joy" which sparks joy in me whenever I use it.)
However, people cannot be thrown out in the same manner as old, useless, or unwanted belongings. Usually, you still have to see them, and maybe even interact with them. This is one of the downsides of cutting people out of your life.
Listen. I get it. It is possible that I write people off too quickly. This is something that I have considered. I can be a bit cold when I feel like someone has sacrificed something I believe in for something that I don't believe in. But is this not why people have values in the first place? So that they can live up to them? Stand up for them?
That's what I think, anyway. I'd much rather be lonely for a little while than look the other way when someone has done something wrong.
If someone is bringing hurt, pain, and general weirdness to your life instead of support, understanding, and goodnatured wackiness, you have Girl Unaffiliated's complete permission, in writing, to cut them off without feeling bad.
Take care of yourselves, people. Sometimes that means being by yourself for a second. Don't be scared. It has basically been scientifically proven that learning to be your own BFF is way more important than staying in a crappy friendship or relationship that has ceased serving you as a spiritual, magical human being.
Believe me, I know how hard it is. (Am I being preachy? Ugh.) All wounds will heal, as long as you stop letting bitches pour salt into them.
Listen to this fabulously eclectic and positivity-affirming thirty-minute playlist here!
1.You Keep Me Hangin' On - The Supremes This song brings up a potential issue in ending friendships or relationships-- as soon as people don't have you in their lives anymore is when they realize just how badly they still want you around. Of course, depending on the situation, this doesn't feel as nice as you might think it would. To me, wanting what you can't have is not cute.
Why do you keep coming around playing with my heart?
Why don't you get out of my life and let me make a new start
Let me get over you the way you've gotten over me
2.Keep It To Yourself - Kacey Musgraves One of my all-time favorite singers, Kacey has no shortage of songs to make you simultaneously laugh and tear up a little bit. (I think I need that emoji.)
You heard from your friends
That I'm doing okay
And you're thinking that maybe you made a mistake
And you want me to know
But I don't want to know
How you're feeling
3. Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac Sometimes it feels like losing someone is worse than losing yourself. It's not.
Isn't the right thing to do
How can I ever change things
That I feel
4. Breakin' Up - Rilo Kiley A gentle yet pop-y reminder that the earth stills turns, even when something crappy happens (unless of course the crappy thing that happened is that the earth stopped turning).
It's not as if New York City
Burnt down to the ground
Once you drove away
It's not as if the sun won't shine
When clouds up above
Wash the blues away
5. These Boots Are Made For Walking - Nancy Sinatra This song is kind of silly but it really pumps me up when I need that extra "boss bitch who doesn't care what anyone thinks" jolt, which is, like, all the time.
You keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin'
You keep losing when you ought not bet
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'
What's right is right but you ain't been right yet
These boots are made for walking
And that's just what they'll do
6. I Feel Better - Frightened Rabbit Unfortunately, this is exactly how healing from bullshit works. It sucks, and then you're great! And then it sucks again. And then it's the worst thing ever. But then you're feeling okay. And then you're feeling a little better than okay. And then you're fan-frickin-tastic!
I feel better and better and worse and then better
Than ever, than ever, than ever
I feel much better and better and worse and then better
Than ever, than ever, than ever, than ever
7. Are You Sure - Kacey Musgraves featuring Willie Nelson I normally don't double-up artists in these playlists, but Kacey is just that good. Also, this is actually a Willie Nelson song that they reworked to cover together. And man, this is truly one of my lifetime favorite songs. Listening to it feels like walking through a film, sepia-toned and heart wrenching and soft and slow.
Look around you
Look down the bar from you
At the lonely faces you see
Are you sure that this is where you want to be?
These are your friends
But are they real friends
Do they love you as much as me?
Are you sure that this is where you want to be?
8. Vice - Miranda Lambert For some reason this is the song that I listen to on constant repeat when I have an essay to write for class. Why? I don't know, but I've done pretty damn well on every essay I wrote while listening to it so it's possible that I've really discovered something here!
Maybe I'm addicted to goodbyes
Another vice, another town
Where my past can't run me down
Another life, another call
Another bed I shouldn't crawl out of
At 7 AM with shoes in my hand
Said I wouldn't do it, but I did it again
And I know I'll be gone tomorrow night
9. Take A Bow - Rihanna This song brings back some serious summer in the 2000s realness. Thank you, Rihanna. You should take a bow.
Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closing
10. Smile - Lily Allen I love this song because it sounds so happy and you're bopping along to it and then you realize that it's smiling at someone's misfortune. And then you think about it for a second, maybe feel guilty, but ultimately shrug your shoulders and keep jammin' because, yeah, I do smile when I see you cry! Hah!
At first when I see you cry
It makes me smile
Yeah, it makes me smile
At first I feel bad for a while
But then I just smile
I go ahead and smile
11. Stop Wondering - April Smith and the Great Picture Show Sometimes after someone betrays you or screws you over or hurts you it helps to be petty for a little while. You'll never get judgment from me on that, for sure. Throw out some psychological f-yous, like this song, even. Don't be shy! Go ahead-- I'll look the other way.
Do you ever wonder if I'm thinking of you
When I wake in the morning and the day is new?
If you ever wonder if I'm thinking of you
Well, I'm not, so you can stop wondering
I've got better things to do
Than sit around thinking about you
And hanging on to every little word that you said
Again, the entire playlist can be found here!
Happy trimming the (toxic, negative, rude) fat.